Sister Jan

When I was a very young girl I deceived myself by telling church members that I’d been saved but in actuality I didn’t feel any different than when I’d knelt down praying. I guess I just wanted the attention and I wanted people to leave me alone because they would all think I’d been saved. It tormented me for years. My mother knew though. There was no kidding her. She said she never felt it and if I’d been saved she knew she would have felt peace. Every Sunday when they gave the altar call I’d start squirming because God was dealing with me. I could feel my mother’s eyes peering at me from her seat on the other side of the aisle. I wouldn’t look at her…I couldn’t. Finally when I was 15 I couldn’t stand it any longer and I made the announcement that I was lost. I’d even been baptized after I’d told years ago that I’d been saved but that made no difference. I knew that alone wasn’t going to get me into heaven. The church prayed for me and with me for months. There was just something standing between me and God…I wasn’t where I needed to be. I was laying in the living room floor one night watching TV. My parents had already gone to bed. For some reason at that time God chose to start dealing with me. I laid there in that floor and prayed for what seemed to be an eternity. Nothing happened. I got up and went to bed. He wouldn’t leave me alone and I prayed and prayed. I offered him everything I owned over the course of praying. The only way I’ve been able to describe what happened next is that I got good and mad. I lifted my arm up to him and in my own mind felt like I was shouting but of course I wasn’t. I asked God just exactly what do you want from me…what do I have to do?? That is the exact moment that my bedroom got as light as day and I know I could hear the singing of angels!! I was so happy! I knew he’s just made me one of his own. I got up and woke my parents even though it was 2 in the morning. They rejoiced with me! I then called our pastor Jr. Elrod and woke him up even though the next day was a work day. He was so excited and happy for me. I am now 62 yrs. old and it was like it just happened. I’m crying with joy at the memory of that moment so long ago. Yes…I can take you to the place and I can tell you the time. Why did I wait so long before I told everyone that I wasn’t saved and the moment that I did start actively seeking his salvation? I don’t know because it was the most wonderful moment of my life. If you aren’t saved I urge you to kneel before him but don’t give up until you have your own experience and you know it is real. Don’t wait until it is too late.

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